Goodbye to Saltimbanco, Hello CA!
The last two weeks have been such an emotional trip. I'm not sure if I can describe it well enough to give you an idea of what most everyone has been going through but I'll try. The last days of the show, Saltimbanco, were intense to be sure. Everyone knew the end was near and there were the typical symptoms of loss and separation anxiety. Some people were staying distant and others were bonding even more. We were getting together to toast each other every night and former Saltimbanco players who had moved on to other shows came into town to be a part of the goodbye. I made some really good friends, including Elisa, Chris and Maggie. I will miss them so much. I also just started getting to know some of the other wives and partners so it was a little frustrating to get cut off so quickly. It really showed for all of us on the day of the last show and on the next two days as people were leaving.
So there we all were, family, friends, crew, staff, and former castmates at the last show. We were seated in the first few rows of the audience and we witnessed the best show the cast had performed so far. All the while, there were tears from those in the audience and the Saltimbanc's were teary-eyed as well. I remember the wife of one acrobat who kept saying "this is too hard." She was right. It was so emotional. We were called to the stage during the bows to be a part of the family goodbye and then the cast went back into the artistic tent and we were asked to go straight to the buses which took us to the party. The party was loud and not very intimate so there wasn't as much of an opportunity to bond for a final time. It was really elaborate but more like a premiere party then a final party.
The next day Armen and I, and anyone who was staying for a few more hours or days, met everyone who was leaving at the airport shuttles outside the hotel. It was so difficult to say goodbye. I had a particularly hard time saying goodbye to the band and the singer since we became good friends, especially Chantal and Serge. They live in Canada so there is definitely an opportunity to visit unless they get another gig really soon. I couldn't hold back the tears. We continued to say goodbye to others during the day. The next day, I just couldn't say goodbye to another big group that was leaving because it was just too much. I opted to stay in my room and continue to pack. We were leaving now on the 6pm bus and some friends gathered outside to say goodbye to our group. One of my good friends Elisa, with whom I shared the singer role in the Tech show, was there to send us off. We really bonded so it was especially difficult to leave. She is moving on to Allegria with her boyfriend who has taken a job on the staff. She was going to Madrid and to a whole new group of people. I was going home back to my old life but life has changed now.
I've changed and I want to keep this excitement alive. I've rediscovered some things about myself and my life and I intend to do what I can to keep that going. I guess my fear is that I might get so involved in the day to day grind of my old life and I might leave what behind what I learned. Of course, when you are so affected it's hard to just put that aside. I know there will not be another Saltimbanco. So many other performers who have moved on say that this was the one special show to be a part of and that they are not experiencing the same comaraderie elsewhere. I don't want to try and recreate what I experienced with Saltimbanco but to build upon it so that I express myself completely as a person and as a performer again. It was really a gift to have to opportunity to meet new people from around the world, travel, and learn so much about myself in this creative environment. I guess I'll look at it as a new beginning.
So there we all were, family, friends, crew, staff, and former castmates at the last show. We were seated in the first few rows of the audience and we witnessed the best show the cast had performed so far. All the while, there were tears from those in the audience and the Saltimbanc's were teary-eyed as well. I remember the wife of one acrobat who kept saying "this is too hard." She was right. It was so emotional. We were called to the stage during the bows to be a part of the family goodbye and then the cast went back into the artistic tent and we were asked to go straight to the buses which took us to the party. The party was loud and not very intimate so there wasn't as much of an opportunity to bond for a final time. It was really elaborate but more like a premiere party then a final party.
The next day Armen and I, and anyone who was staying for a few more hours or days, met everyone who was leaving at the airport shuttles outside the hotel. It was so difficult to say goodbye. I had a particularly hard time saying goodbye to the band and the singer since we became good friends, especially Chantal and Serge. They live in Canada so there is definitely an opportunity to visit unless they get another gig really soon. I couldn't hold back the tears. We continued to say goodbye to others during the day. The next day, I just couldn't say goodbye to another big group that was leaving because it was just too much. I opted to stay in my room and continue to pack. We were leaving now on the 6pm bus and some friends gathered outside to say goodbye to our group. One of my good friends Elisa, with whom I shared the singer role in the Tech show, was there to send us off. We really bonded so it was especially difficult to leave. She is moving on to Allegria with her boyfriend who has taken a job on the staff. She was going to Madrid and to a whole new group of people. I was going home back to my old life but life has changed now.
I've changed and I want to keep this excitement alive. I've rediscovered some things about myself and my life and I intend to do what I can to keep that going. I guess my fear is that I might get so involved in the day to day grind of my old life and I might leave what behind what I learned. Of course, when you are so affected it's hard to just put that aside. I know there will not be another Saltimbanco. So many other performers who have moved on say that this was the one special show to be a part of and that they are not experiencing the same comaraderie elsewhere. I don't want to try and recreate what I experienced with Saltimbanco but to build upon it so that I express myself completely as a person and as a performer again. It was really a gift to have to opportunity to meet new people from around the world, travel, and learn so much about myself in this creative environment. I guess I'll look at it as a new beginning.
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